omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I would fuck him just for his dog
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
