I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
