don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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