Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
This baby is an asshole
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
