So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
