I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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