guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
