i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
