i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
