i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
