So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
