Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
