I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
