so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
And then my night got REAL pukey
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
