yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
