Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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