Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I enjoy the company of your penis
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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