No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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