I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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