If i come over, it means nothing
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
