you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
