who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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