Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
