literally had 100 drinks last night.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
