I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
