Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
