At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
