ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
