You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
