somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
