yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
It's rum buckets o'clock
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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