i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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