Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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