A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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