They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
there is glitter all over my balls
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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