I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
