watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
The Olympian is in my bed
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