Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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