her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
