your thong is hanging out like whoa
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
