dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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