this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
