didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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