Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
