dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
