i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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