i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
