Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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