I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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