he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
