but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
