I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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